Mom: business idea, make shot glasses out of cookies!! wait nvm that's already done Me: make cookies out of shot glasses
RT @heyifeellike: mom: if all your friends ju- me:
@jeffdotseth the sad part is this is the ONLY gift his Mom got for Christmas and he said I won't show up for dinner…
Stacks to Brittany: I thought I caught you on the hub Me, stacks and Brittany all laughed My mom: what's the hub Us: ctfu Me: a porn website
@luiissmario I told my managers that my mom is my doctor
@Buddiction your mom didn't raise no pussy. You better.
RT @JDEstradawriter: To celebrate mom's birthday, here I talk about her role in my writing. Love you mom.
@LadyN9ne @TechN9ne His mom is his spiritual guide now. that is beyond beautiful if he stays in touch with his guides he will b unstoppable
RT @skylandrew: Can you say me something before i go to bed mom? @DebbyRyan
RT @MannyMua733: Mom " I miss when you drove like a grandma, I miss the Honda :( " Me "that makes one of us" *revs and goes 10 miles faster 😂😂*
LOL AT DAYCARE EXPENSES. Literally going to sell my car and be a stay at home mom until Jake and Justin go to school.
I swear! Like Just now my mom was banging on my door like she the police telling me to go do the dishes 😭
I love facetiming my mom because she always tells me I'm pretty
RT @kenziecoffman: When u remember the only reason you were really born is because your mom got food poisoning on her honeymoon and th…
my pee pee was hurting dad said to not tell mom scard
Nothing quite frustrates me like my mom not answering her phone
"Shawty Go tell ya gromaw, ya mama, ya ain't tees, ya baby daddy cousin uncle's mom Lil sister to follow & FUCK WIT…
According to my mom tires are more important then the oil in your car
RT @FemaleTexts: When your mom said you can't go and you already told everyone you were